Everybody has said something stupid that they later regret. However the music industry is awash in stupidity.
Given that it’s final exam time, take this little pop quiz and see just how smart you are at judging which record execs said the dumbest things. This is only the stuff that’s been in print and doesn’t even include all the other dumb stuff they say when there’s no reporters around. If you get all the answers right, you just might be qualified to run a major record label. If you get them all wrong, congratulations–you may already be running a major record label. If you’re not too embarrassed you can post your score in the comments section below. You can also add any gem quotes of your own that you think should have been included there too.
Go ahead and give it a try. And remember–NO CHEATING!
Who Said This?
Question 1 |
"We didn't know who to hire. I wouldn't be able to recognize a good technology person — anyone with a good bullshit story would have gotten past me."
Andy Lack, former Sony Music CEO and industry whipping boy | |
Alain Levy, testy Gallic former EMI CEO. | |
Doug Morris, septuagenarian current CEO of Sony Music | |
Professor Irwin Corey, renowned idiot |
Question 2 |
"What’s the role of the labels? I don’t know.”
Doug Merrill, former President of EMI Digital Business | |
Michael Nash, former Warner Music Executive Vice President of Digital Strategy and Business Development | |
Alex Zubillaga, former Executive Vice President of Digital Strategy and Business Development of Warner Music Group | |
Jackie Mason, former rabbi and two-time Grammy nominee. |
Question 3 |
Guy Hands, tax dodger and former CEO/Owner of EMI Music Group | |
Septuagenarian Sony CEO Doug Morris | |
Junior Bronfman, rich kid and former CEO of Warner Music | |
Roger Faxon, CEO of EMI Music and Mitt Romney look-a-like |
Question 4 |
"We do see Spotify and streaming revenue from services other than Spotify to be meaningful in 2011."
Septuagenarian Sony CEO Doug Morris | |
Roger Faxon, soon-to-be ex-CEO of EMI Music | |
Junior Bronfman, rich kid and former Warner Music CEO | |
Guy Hands, former EMI Music CEO/Owner and German truck stop operator | |
Mitt Romney, ex-CEO of Bain Capital (investors in Warner Music) and current lame GOP presidential candidate
*see photo above |
Question 5 |
" You guys have brought nothing good to the table, you ought to smoke pot and hear some better music."
Rick Rubin, barefoot record producer and soon-to-be ex-co-chairman of Columbia Records | |
L.A. Reid, reality TV star and current part-time chairman of Epic Records. | |
Rob "Fredo" Stringer, Chairman of Sony Music North America, sort of--for now, at least. | |
Snoop Dogg, rapper and well-established pothead |
Question 6 |
"No I never pulled a gun on anybody. That is outrageous, preposterous, ludicrous. These stories all sound like jokes to me."
Morris Levy, former owner of Roulette Records and close "business" associate of the Genovese crime family | |
Tommy Mottola, former Sony Music CEO and Michael Jackson nemesis | |
Joe Isgro, former independent record promotion man and convicted extortioner | |
Lyor Cohen, gangsta CEO of Warner Recorded Music North America | |
All of the above |
Question 7 |
What CEO said this about his colleague..."He is so deceptive with that little kind face and those little glasses. Behind them, he is actually a killer shark."
Rolf Schmidt-Holz, former CEO of Sony Music and current German investor | |
Septuagenarian Sony CEO Doug Morris | |
Lyor Cohen, North American Chairman and CEO of Recorded Music for Warner Music Group, the Moe Greene of the music business | |
Moe Greene, Vegas branch of the Corleone family |
Question 8 |
"I don't know anything about music. My job has very little to do with music."
Elio Leoni-Sceti, former detergent marketer and CEO of EMI Music | |
Steve Barnett, pr genius and co-chairman of Columbia Records | |
Rick Rubin, zen record producer and co-chairman of Columbia Records, but not for long | |
Eric Nicoli, former EMI Group CEO and ex-biscuit baker. |
Question 9 |
"I believe that the CD will out-survive me as a format."
Lucian Grainge, CEO of Universal Music | |
Junior Bronfman, spoiled ex-CEO of Warner Music | |
Clive Davis, octogenarian Sony Music exec | |
Dick Clark, tv producer and stroke victim |
Question 10 |
"Most people, I think, don't even know what [it] is, so why should they care about it?"
Thomas Hesse, soon-to-be former president of Global Digital Business at Sony Music Entertainment | |
Adam Klein, former executive vice president of strategy and business development, EMI Music | |
Michele Anthony, former President
of the Sony Music Label Group U.S. | |
Hunter S. Thompson, gonzo god and human cannon fodder. |
Question 11 |
“It’s the downside of a family business: anything good is because I’m somebody’s son; otherwise, I’m a schmuck.”
Marshall Chess, son and nephew of the Polish immigrant founders of Chess Records | |
Frank Sinatra, Jr., musician and Italian America's crown prince. | |
Junior Bronfman, ex-music biz CEO and son, grandson and nephew of famous Canadian bootleggers | |
Blanket Jackson, son of deceased show biz freak Michael Jackson |
Question 12 |
"What we are doing is taking the power away from the A&R guys and putting it with the suits - the guys who have to work out how to sell music."
Len Blavatnik, Russian oligarch and owner of Warner Music Group | |
Guy Hands, Brit twit billionaire and former CEO/Owner of EMI Music | |
Howard Stringer, gaijin CEO of Sony Corp. | |
Jay Berman, alta kocker former head of the RIAA & IFPI |
Question 13 |
"I do not believe the way corporations run the music business today is a recipe for success."
Jimmy Iovine, aging hipster chairman of Interscope Records | |
Amanda Ghost, volatile pothead and former chairman/CEO of Epic Records | |
Dr. Luke, record producer and Doug Morris' "new Jimmy Iovine" | |
Prince, eccentric James Brown impersonator |
Question 14 |
Who said this about a co-worker..."My wife's father is Dick Vermeil, the former coach of the St. Louis Rams. My sons would go to training camp, and when Marshall Faulk started playing for the team, they called me and said, 'Not only is this guy a great player, he makes everyone around him better.' Of course, the Rams went on to win the Super Bowl. I think [he] is our Marshall Faulk. I knew he would change the culture here."Rob "Fredo" Stringer, titular CEO of Sony Music North America | |
Tommy Mottola, former big shot and CEO of Sony Music | |
Steve Barnett, co-chairman of Columbia Records and self-described "not a music guy" | |
Dog Morris. septuagenarian Sony Music CEO |
Question 15 |
"I never really liked the Stones. Although, I loved the Monkees — they had all the best songwriters."Doug Morris, former Monkees songwriter and current septuagenarian Sony Music CEO | |
Rob "Fredo" Stringer, CEO of Sony Music North America and founder of Monkees tribute band. | |
Clive Davis, follically-challenged octogenarian Sony A&R man and original member of the Monkees | |
Steve Barnett, co-chairman of Columbia Records and former president of the UK Monkees Fan Club. | |
Rick Rubin, co-chairman of Columbia Records and part-time caretaker at Hogwarts |
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© 2011, Wayne Rosso. All rights reserved.
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Rosso at his acerbic best. (But this comment comes from someone who scored as a moron!)
my favourite
head of a major label said to my suggestion in 1999 to sell tracks direct to consumers at .99p
my son you come from the grocery industry so you never truly understood o r respected the integrity of the album….this will never happen.
we ie the labels could have owned itunes…… with visionaries like this running the biz in99 explains why we missed it…