Eeeeuuuuu. What's That Smell?

I know that I have been writing a lot lately about EMI. I know that it seems as though I’m beating up on them. But to paraphrase the great Willie “The Actor” Sutton’s response when asked why he robbed banks, “Because that’s where the money is”.

Last week brought lots of news from the ongoing soap opera that is now EMI. Losses, write downs, artist discontent, and what seems like endless executive turmoil have marked the tenure of new owner Guy “Ham” Hands. Mr. Hands, when acting as CEO of EMI, alienated artists and managers to the point that it boiled over into name calling in the press and threatened liable suits. There exists in the UK music industry a group of very influential artist managers who are referred to as “The Black Hand Gang”, and they all have or had important clients signed to EMI. The group includes Jazz Summers, Tim Clark and David Enthoven, Brian Message, Dave Holmes and loosely works together as sort of an ad hoc artists’ rights group in regard to their EMI artists. The Black Hand Gang holds all of the EMI major artist assets and Hands did not make a very good impression on them. So he finally wised up, some would say too late, stepped aside and brought in the perfect man to save the business–an Italian executive experienced in marketing soap suds.

Now things seem to be lurching into high gear. The Rolling Stones, Supergrass and Radiohead left the label and Coldplay only delivered their last mega-selling album on the condition that EMI have absolutely nothing to do with the marketing. Coldplay would handle it themselves and EMI would foot the bill. Then Coldplay decides to give away their next album, a live throwaway compilation, denying EMI some much needed billing. But the UK’s Daily Mail broke the story last week that EMI’s young female superstar Joss Stone is so pissed that she’s actually willing to buy her way off the label! You know you have problems when an artist is actually giving money to a record company.

Prom King Guy With His Queen

To compound the situation, The New York Post also reported on a rift between the once good chums Guy Hands and soap selling EMI CEO Elio Leoni-Sceti. The Post reports that the two came into conflict over EMI North America COO Ronn Werre. It seems that Hands wanted to give Werre a “take it or leave it” offer once his contract had expired. Werre went out and got a better paying job at Sony. Hands got pissed and wanted Elio to hire back Werre at any cost. Elio was embarrassed and Sony sued. So the upshot is that Werre is swinging a big dick, Elio has been emasculated and Hands feels like Henry VIII with a new girlfriend. So don’t be surprised if Ronn Werre suddenly becomes Guy’s new Jane Seymour to Elio’s Ann Bolyn and is crowned queen of the EMI prom.

Jr. Moves To London

And just to prove that all of the action is in London these days, our genealogically advantaged little buddy Edgar Jr. is rumored to be moving there. So how does all of this play into Warner Music’s longstanding effort to gobble up EMI? Pretty well, I imagine. Jr. will now be siting on the sidelines with the ability to quietly stoke the overheated British press and further pick away at the ailing EMI. The Brits look upon EMI as a national trust in a sense. A part of the English fabric. So it will be interesting to see how Jr. will sow the seeds of public discontent with Terra Firma’s ownership of the company.

So who will be the next artist to jump ship at EMI? I have nothing but gut instinct to base this on, but my guess is Robbie Williams, arguably EMI’s biggest star. My guess is that Williams and his management are so disgusted with what’s been happening at EMI that they feel they just don’t need them anymore. Why? Because IE Music, Robbie’s management firm, has a longstanding business relationship with Ingenious Media, the top media investors in Europe and one of the few independent investment firms committed to the music space. And besides, the IE guys know what they’re doing. And they don’t need EMI. At all. And don’t kid yourself–EMI made plenty of dough on the first of what is now called a 360 deal. If you knew how much revenue Robbie Williams generates, mostly outside of the US, it would bring tears to your eyes.

When Terra Firma first took over I was in touch with Guy Hands and company. I was having one of several long conversations with one of Guy’s emissaries one day–they were still moving into the EMI building, it was that early– when I told him that everyone in the record business would do everything they could to make Terra Firma’s EMI fail. He was astonished and asked why on earth that would be. My answer was simple. Schadenfruede. In the music business its not good enough for you to succeed, you must also see your friends fail at the same time. That no matter how progressive EMI planned to be, they would meet resistance from every other label. It ain’t like running rest stops on the autobahn. As it turns out, I was wrong. They’ve fucked up so much that they didn’t need help from anybody.

© 2009, Wayne Rosso. All rights reserved.

Wimp Rock Band Coldplay Accepts Grammy Award For Their Allegedly Purloined Hit "Viva La Vida". Don't They Look Cute In Their Faux Sergeant Pepper outfits?

Former Pop Star Yusef Islam, aka Cat Stevens

I’m sure you recall that pablum rockers Coldplay have been accused of plagiarizing their biggest hit “Viva La Vida” not by one other songwriter, but two. Guitarist Joe Satriani filed a lawsuit and Brooklyn band Creaky Boards also accused the band of stealing their stuff. Well, according to a report in the Brit tabloid The Sun, yet a third person has now accused Coldplay of ripping him off. Yusuf Islam, formerly know as Cat Stevens, claims that “Viva La Vida” is a direct rip off of his 1970′s composition “Foreigner Suite”. You  just gotta love this.

So what do you think?

© 2009, Wayne Rosso. All rights reserved.

Wuss Rockers Coldplay

Wimp soft rockers Coldplay are trying to get hip by giving away their new CD.  Fans who attend one of their upcoming North American tour dates will get a free copy of their new live album  The CD, called “LeftRightLeftRightLeft,” will also be available as a free download through the band’s website www.coldplay.com

This isn’t the first time for this type of giveaway. Prince gave away copies of his album ”Planet Earth” to readers of a Brit newspaper. But Coldplay, lame band that it is, seems to be catching on to the realities of the new music business and are sure to piss off their label. EMI, by putting a huge dent in their billing. So you have to give Coldplay credit where credit is due. But these knuckleheads at EMI can’t catch a break. They’re even leading in the Wayne’s World poll of which major record label will be the first to go down in flames with 55% of the vote. This is the highest percentage of anything that EMI has had since 1964 when the Beatles held all five slots in the Top Five US singles.

This all underscores the fact that physical product is becoming more and more utterly useless. CD’s are nothing more than coasters. At least Coldplay recognizes this and seem to understand that recorded music is just another marketing tool to build their brand and help sell tickets, merchandise, etc

So the next question will be if bands will now kill the golden goose by raising concert ticket prices to replace lost revenue from recorded music. Of course they will!!! Stay tuned.

© 2009, Wayne Rosso. All rights reserved.